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a glimpse into my mind as i'm sat on a plane

Updated: Nov 15, 2018

Spending 7 hours and 16 mins at a cruising altitude of 31k feet, surrounded by ~279 other passengers, with no access to the world wide web tends to make a mind wander.

Below are the travel-related ponderings of my Prosecco-infused brain, in-between bouts of narcolepsy, en route from London to New York City today:

  1. 'We are now going to attempt to fly to New York' - Words I'm pleased my captain did not kick this transatlantic flight off with!

  2. Why am I startled every time I flush an airplane toilet, even though I fully anticipate the forceful suction?

  3. Who is responsible for selecting Indian food as a cuisine choice on a long-haul flight? I'd like to have a word with them!

  4. I'm very lucky I'm small enough to curl up comfortably in Economy. It must be dreadful for the rest of society to have to sit in these tiny seats with limited legroom.

  5. If staying awake for intervals greater than 30 minute is a job requirement for flight attendants, I would not make a suitable cabin crew candidate.

  6. Will we ever master teleportation?

  7. I get why this can't happen, but wouldn't it be cool if the windows on the plane opened so we could touch the fluffy clouds?!

  8. Thank goodness I got a flu shot! Between the symphony of coughing, sneezing and sniffling amongst the hundreds of other breathers and the fact that the seat recline buttons nor tray tables have never properly been wiped down, this plane is a breeding ground for germs.

  9. Why oh why do the airline gods and/or the computer-generated seat allocation systems refuse to ever sit me next to an attractive, good-smelling, available man?

  10. Do we all agree that demonstrating how to operate the seat belt during the safety briefing is no longer necessary? I'm sure there are some first time fliers on board, but surely understanding the 3-1-1 liquids rule is more difficult than figuring out how to insert a metal fitting into a buckle!


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